The Pain of Light
by DarkflamesAsh
Summary: THIS HAS SPOILERS! RUN AWAY! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! P.S. slight slashiness if you squint really hard....Rated T for a death...
1. Chapter 1

KONICHIWA!!!!! This has spoilers so run away now if you don't want the show or manga to be ruined. Thank you and please review! P.S. I don't own Deathnote...If I did you'd know...

Light didn't know why he had felt the urge to catch L. It had worked out well in the end, but now….as he held L's light frame in his arms and looked into those wide dark eyes he felt pain. He felt as if his own heart should be the one to stop, but then L seemed to look at him. It was a test. He smirked and waited for L to glare or pout. But it didn't happen. He lay still and his eyes fell shut. Light felt more than heard his own scream. He felt the tears form and prepare to fall.

He didn't know why he had gone out on the roof. He could have simply left L to freeze to death. Why did he have to feel this now? Why not sooner then this? If it had happened sooner he could have…but it was best if Light didn't think of that as he looked at L's motionless body. The tears spilled and he yelled for no reason. He screamed and mourned. Then…He recovered and continued his role. He was Kira. He was the god of the new world, but…the pain never left. The image replayed in his head every day that he looked upon the building, L falling from his chair, the spoon he used to stir his tea with clinging on the tiles, that moment of false hope that Rem hadn't done it.

Light dealt with it in his own way. He thought of L standing in the rain and toying with him. He thought of that playful grin L had made after Light's second try. He thought of their fights and their laughs. He thought of crawling across the bed and glaring at the still conscious detective. But none of it helped. Misa noticed first. She was smart enough, though, to keep it to herself and leave him alone. She let him be. She let him cry when he locked the door and thought everyone was gone. And she let him use her as a replacement for where L had occupied.

Light stared down at L and let the tears fall as he thought of it. _"AH! Ryuzaki-sama!! Smile! Come on!" Misa cheered pointing the camera at him. L glared at her his fork still dangling from his mouth. Light smiled and reached across and snapped the photo himself. "Ah! Light-kun! Delete that! I told you I don't-" L tried to complain reaching for the camera. Light laughed and hid it behind his back breaking into L's sentence. "Nay! Ryu-kun! Let me keep it! I want to have a photo of my friend!" _Any other word and L would have smashed the camera, but to be called friend. Tears spilled down Light's face and onto the framed photo of L. His hair was unruly and the bags under his eyes were present and he still wore that oversized sweater, but to Light this photo of L, scowling at him with his fork still in his mouth, was the most beautiful picture he had ever seen. So Light kept it close to his heart and never erased that feeling of guilt he felt for L's death.

KYAH!!! I did it. My first ever Fanfic! I just finished watching Episode 25- Silence! And so this fanfic came out of that mad moment. This is Shounen-Ai…if you can't tell, but I may elaborate…If I get some shiny red reviews…Darkflames Quidin Ash


	2. Chapter 2

This is Chapter 2 in the Pain Of Light, I finally finished watching the anime and when I saw the hint of L's ghost standing at the bottom of the stairs I was inspired…So! Once again….There are spoilers up ahead for the very end so turn back now before it's too late! 

Chapter 2: Life After Death

Light lay there completely drained of energy and blood. He knew he would die soon. He welcomed it with the simple hope of seeing L one more time before sentenced away to nothingness. He felt more than heard Ryuk sit down next to him on the stairs. "You're dead, you know. You can sit up. Your soul was judged and it was decided you will be forced to wander the earth alone. Forever. Misa-chan is thinking of dieing simply to join you. If she does she'll be sent to another dimension. You've killed a lot of people, Light. Why is it that only one person was able to make you feel guilty?" Ryuk turned and looked down at his companion to await the answer. Light on the other hand didn't feel like talking and simply sat up. His body stayed still, but his soul could move.

"Did L truly pass on?" Light asked turning his soft brown eyes to stare at Ryuk. Ryuk simply laughed at him and looked down the steps. Light followed where Ryuk was looking and smiled at the sight that greeted him. L stood at the bottom of the stairs staring up at him. "Ryu-kun." Light breathed out softly. L didn't respond and simply stared back up at him with those wide determined eyes of his before reaching up for Light's hand.

"Yagami-san. Take my hand. I want to show you something." L whispered softly. Ryuk chuckled before disappearing. "You have been given a chance to redeem yourself, don't screw up so soon. Take my hand, Light-kun." Light still hesitated before pushing himself up and joining L at the bottom. Patiently L waited until Light took hold of his hand before moving. L began the walk back to the 'Yellow Box' with a smile and gentle tug. "God has decided to be lenient on you and judge you as you judged others. You will be judged on guilt, remorse, and sanity. I want to show you whose life you have truly ruined with this mass genocide." As they entered the 'Yellow Box' Light noticed Near and the other members of the SPK hadn't moved. Near was shaking slightly and the others stood around Mekami. "That boy is the only person left." L whispered softly staring down at him. A sudden argument was heard from the doorway. L and Light turned just in time to see a young woman around L's age run in. Her hair was a long black mane tied back into a ponytail at the base of her neck. "That girl. Her name is Ren Osaka. She is an orphan that was raised in the Wammy House and aided me in many of my cases. Even with this one."

"Nate! Don't look!" Ren yelled wrapping her arms around Near's shaking body and holding him close to her chest. Anger shone clearly in her eyes as she looked at the 3 other officers. No one spoke. "You said you would protect him." Ren whispered her voice like acid as she coddled the small boy in her arms. "You said there would be no deaths!" Ren spat slipping anarm under the boy's legs and holding him closer like a small child.

"There were no deaths." Giovanni stated with a grim smile.

"Then what the hell is that bloodied thing next to you?"

"That was Mekami Teru. He killed himself to help Kira escape."

"He killed himself?"

"Hai, Ren-sama."

"Isn't that considered a death?"

"I-uh!"

"Ren's not really angry." L said suddenly turning to look at Light. Light nodded and looked over the girl. "She's just scared. You see, you've taken everyone." Light's head jerked back to stare at L in shock. "What do you mean, Ryu-kun?" He asked staring at the pale boy. "I mean, Ren-chan was raised alongside me. I fell in love with her. We grew up and stayed together for years. We met Mello and Near two years ago. Ren-chan and I considered them like our children. Mello-san introduced her to Matt and she became very fond of him as well. They are all dead. All she has left to her is Near. Wouldn't you be scared, too?" L asked silently turning to look at Light. Light didn't respond he was busy watching Ren. She was wiping off his face and gently cuddling him as she carried him outside.

He was reminded of his sister as he stared at this girl. Ren was small and looked fragile like a china doll, but she was strong. Strong enough to carry Near in her arms and not get tired. Strong enough to deal with incompetence and strong enough not to cry, yet. Ren set Near down into a limo and then climbed. L and Light followed her in the car. Her eyes seemed to look at them before she looked down at Near. "I miss Mello." Near whispered softly gripping at her ripped up jean pants. Her baggy shirt fell slightly onto his head as Near peaked up at her. "I miss Matt, too." Ren nodded and gently patted his hair. "But I miss Otuo-san the most." Ren's eyes immediately shot up to stare at them again. "Okaa-san. You're glaring." Near stated gently reaching up to tug on her hair gently. Ren smiled and gently stroked his cheek. "It's okay now Nate-kun. You can go to sleep." Ren whispered coaxingly avoiding his questioning look.

"Ren-chan is…sensitive to this kind of thing." L stated plainly. "I guessed that when she glared at me." Light complained glaring at L slightly for not telling him sooner. "She's the one that told me to start looking up Shinagami legends. She is also the one who told me about a second chance." L mumbled softly bringing his feet up into his crouch position. Even in death L hadn't stopped sitting like that. Somehow, that comforted Light. "The second chance for me?" Light stated softly looking over at the pale young girl.

"No, Light-kun. Not that type of second chance. The thing you are aiming for is limited. My second chance. She told me there is a way for us to come back to life. She said you can rot in hell for all she cared."

Love it? Hate it? Just want me to shut up? Leave me a shiny red review and I'll continue! Anyway I fixed some of the mistakes I made in Chapter 1 and added in a few things. I wrote chapter 2 simply introduce my new character and give those boys a chance together. If you like the whole idea of maybe they'll come back to life maybe they won't…message me tell me what you think. P.S. Otou-san may be misspelled…it's supposed to be father in Japanese. Please aid me in my spelling of different languages. I really suck at it. Ok, bye-bye Darkflames Quiden Ash


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